Flying

I'm fucked up and
Flying
Oh so very high
And
I might fly on my own
But I fall
It's these god dammed drugs
God dammed situations motivations recreations
And I'm drunk on admirations
Devils deportations
Downers, dimmers
Doped up death bringers
And I can't feel without you
Going num
Going num
I can't even feel my toes.

Buddha

My very wise mother shared this with me and I thought you might like it...



A man once came to see the Buddha to get help with his problems. After the man had told the Buddha one of his problems and asked for help, the Buddha replied: "I cannot help you get rid of that problem."

The man was surprised that the Buddha could not help him in this regard, but he told the Buddha about another problem; he thought to himself that the Buddha should at least be able to help him with that problem. But the Buddha told him "I cannot help you with that problem either."

The man started to get impatient. He said: "How can it be that you are the perfectly Enlightened Buddha, when you can’t even help people get rid of their problems?" The Buddha answered: "You will always have 83 problems in your life. Sometimes a problem will go, but then another problem will come. I cannot help you with that."

The baffled man asked the Buddha: "But, what can you help me with, then?" The Buddha replied: "I can help you get rid of your 84th problem." The man asked: "But what is my 84th problem?" The Buddha replied: "That you want to get rid of your 83 problems."

So I’m entering some of my painting into this juried art show and I have to come up with this statement about me as a painter…this is what I got so far.

Artist’s statement
I was born to paint, I was born to create, It’s the only thing I do not have to think about I can just do. It comes so natural to me. When I poor the turpentine into a jar get out my old brushes put the paint on my palette it comes automatic .I am not that good at taking tests, writing essays, I really do suck at math and science is hard to me to understand but I can paint. I paint my raw passionate emotion and I paint what I know. There are recurring themes and some patterns in my work, for example I paint a lot about substance abuse in my work because I am a recovering alcoholic addict. I lot of my paintings are reflections on past or current emotional personal experiences. I feel things so strongly I have to paint some of my excess emotion out onto a canvas for my own sanity. I have this need to paint I make art to live and live to make good art.

I have just absolutely fallen I love with the sourpuss clothing website, I adore absolutely all of there stuff!!

I especially love my cherry cardigan!



http://www.sourpussclothing.com/index.asp

(Old Poetry) Here again

Rain pouring.

The sound woke me up

Six am,

Here again,

I look down to see a sleeping face,

And wonder hangover.

From night lost.

Still I don't feel sober,

Falling over,

I lean down and whisper in an ear.

Something I'm not sure

I wanted him to hear

Daisy you’re dying,

Little girl with the curl,

hair that falls down

Brown as the ground

Little girl with the eyes

Determined with lies

Filled with the sound

That came crashing down,

Little girl with the skin

It’s growing so dim

You’re

delicate yet damaged

And I’m

Downright dammed

These nights I will never forget

Call train bathroom floor

You and me Chris

Concrete, cold tile, Ketamine

Cold water tapping

As you wash my smoke filled hair.

I'm coming down

From what?

I don't remember

Rapping, tapping, napping

Fist on the door

Is what I'm afraid of.

Shivering contractions

Seizing me and my actions.

Skin pale against florescent lights

-is it strange that I feel at home?

Blind

Get up morning
open you’re eyes
Asleep but alive
starting again slow,
and a another day
Its ok,
You’ve been gone a while
Its fine I’m just five
but
Had to find my way blind,
And
Yeah I cried.

(old poetry) I am From

I am from
Burnt tortia crumbs,
The slums,
Chili on my tongue,
Smoke in my lungs,
The sweet smell,
Of my mothers hair,
And The Berenstain Bears,
She says she loves me every day,
But bars on windows take me away